Monday, March 28, 2005

Easter and Beyond

Still the phoney campaign. The election in all but name. The radio TV and news channels talk of nothing else political. Presumably Blair did it this way so that he could use the advantage of being the government to promote his policies without having to worry about the Representation of the People Act. The minute the real election is announced (Monday 4th) the RP act swings into action and in each constituency you have to mention every person who is standing every time you talk to one of the candidates. It's a nightmare for journalists as the parties take it very seriously and have people measuring every news bulletin and newspaper coulumn.

BBM and I came to the constituency in time for Easter and we have been here ever since. A bit of a waste of time really, because althought everyone at Westminster knows Blair will announce the election on Monday and it will happen on May 5th, real people don't seem to have picked this up, and wouldn't really care if they had. So we have to put up with an endless barrage of abuse "What's he doing here then?" "Hullo love are ya doing a bit of slumming?" when BBM and I go out stuffing leaflets through doors in unloved areas of the constituency.

Sometimes it feels as if we are on holiday in a strange country where we don't speak the language. At Westminster you get so used to being a village with a village's preoccupations, but I think it is probably impossible to move for a month into someone else's village and pick up theirs.

We read all the papers hungrily every day. It's the only way of finding out what your mates are up to. The Howard Flight affair has interesting repercussions. Flight is known and liked by everybody at Westminster and the general feeling is that Michael Howard overreacted by sacking him completely. There should have been some kind of face saving compromise.

BBM has a moment of nerves when he works out that any of the parties can sack whoever they like in the run up to election day and replace them with an apparatchick/chap. I think he has taken a vow of silence to keep out of trouble until the nominations are firmly in the bag in the town hall.

The relationship between BBM and Agent M amazes me. M is a teacher who stands no nonsense in the real world, and has obviously decided that she will treat BBM like a badly behaved 7th year student. She rings him every night to hurl abuse down the phone. When we were in London and he had other things to do he sort of ignored her, but now that he's in the constituency he has started to shout right back. They are beginning to sound like a middle aged married couple in traing for marriage guidance. I play the part of the mistress in all this. He comes to me to moan about her. Asks daft questions like " do you think M lacks confidence? Why else would she be so abusive?"

I gently suggest in a mistressy sort of way that BBM is not the world's easiest person to deal with (only a genuis like me knows how to handle you dear) but he just mumbles and starts writing yet another leaflet "Thinking of voting Liberal Democrat? Good on you! Charles Kennedy is a good chap" has he finally flipped his lid?

The court have sent back my driving license. The paper sheet has NOT BANNED FROM DRIVING BECAUSE OF EXCEPTIONAL HARDSHIP-BUT CONVICTED handwritten across it. Are they mad. Do they seriously think I will carry that round with me. Unfortunately I was stewing some rhubarb when I opened the envelope and it went everywhere (The rhubarb that is) I was able to wipe it off the plastic card completely, but the paper sheet is a mess. I have dried it out on the radiator, but you can't read it anymore, well not the handwritten bits.

5 Comments:

Blogger Recess Monkey said...

Go-one, write some more...

...everyone's dying to know who you are. Mrs Clapham perhaps?

regards,


Recess Monkey
www.recessmonkey.com
recessmonkey@gmail.com

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. The new age prophet

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. The new age prophet

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